yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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