it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
