I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
