no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
