I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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