dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
