I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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