he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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