hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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