Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
