Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
