white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
