you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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