so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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