They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
