She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
