I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
