I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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