i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
