I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
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Is it penis luge time yet?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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