Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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