She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
