toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
