...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
