Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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