her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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