That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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