I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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