you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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