she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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