no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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