Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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