I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
NoShamevember. You game?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
