like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
