I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
