Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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