Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
