Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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