This girl is more easily done than said...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
