you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
