Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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