Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
