I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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