3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I party with great urgency now.
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