You're so nebulous sometimes
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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