The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
