Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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