i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
