where am i from again
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
