you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Randomize
