Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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