I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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