Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
