i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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