Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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