I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
