I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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