I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
