He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
