And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
