did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My life is pants optional.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
