i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
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I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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