Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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