Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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