You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
