Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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