I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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