bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Randomize
